My Journey: Divorce & Remarriage, with Children
This story is the personal experience and advice from Robyn about how she helped her children during her divorce & remarriage. Check out this book, “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” to learn more about how to communicate with your children in the best ways!
Hi! I would like to share a personal experience and some advice for parents who are divorced.
Life Changes
I married my high school love after he served a 2-year service mission for our church. Fast forward 7 years and we had 4 cute little boys, ranging from ages 6 years to 4 months old.
One day he told me that he didn’t love me anymore and he wanted out. I was in shock even though I had tender mercies from the Lord of feelings that this was going to happen.
Right after my husband told me, I went into my older boys’ room and laid down on the floor and sobbed for hours, my heart broke for them not me.
What about the children?
I didn’t want my children to be from a divorced home. It was almost more than I could bear.
I was feeling hopeless and despair. I couldn’t even function… In my church, we believe in the power of prayer. I asked the Bishop of my Church to give me a “blessing,” which is a special prayer in my behalf.
With that help & support, I could feel divine help, assisting me. For the first time in my life I knew what “peace” truly meant. I felt peace amid a very difficult storm right then, it was truly remarkable.
What now?
I was like a little puppy dog in our marriage before this all happened but now, I knew I had to protect my children and do what was best for them.
It was probably a few months after that I pulled my husband aside and told him we needed to discuss something. I’m going to share with you what we talked about and made a pact with each other.
Our Pact
I told him that we must NEVER talk bad about each other in front of our children and he agreed. Your children are part of each of you.
When you talk bad about your ex, you are talking bad about them. This does an incredible amount of damage, it’s just so sad to see so many parents do this.
Be different!
For the Children
Believe me, your kids will watch both of you and know what’s going on, you don’t need to tell them. We really tried to do this, and I’m so grateful we did.
Even if your spouse doesn’t follow this advice, you still can! It will make a big difference. You can ultimately only control your actions. Divorce is hard enough, don’t make it harder.
Communication with your Children
Now some advice just from me to you, communicate with your children one by one. I wish I would have done this better.
I tried my best, but looking back, you always see where you could have improved. That time with your children is so precious and it goes by so fast.
I didn’t believe people when they told me my kids would grow up fast and be gone before I knew it, but it’s so true! Make the little moments every day really count.
Be present with them!
Communication is key, in marriage, in co-parenting, and with your children. Check out this book, “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” to learn more.
Remarriage
When I remarried an amazing man 7 years later, we moved to Florida from Idaho. My ex called me a few weeks after and asked me if he could move about 1 hour from us in Florida and I said, “Absolutely Yes!”
I wanted my sons to know and communicate with their father. That was critical for them to develop into fine young men.
My Faith
Lastly, stay close to what you believe. To me, I stayed close to my religion, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I am not perfect by any means, but I stayed close to my Savior, Heavenly Father and the gospel. I can’t even imagine where I would be if I didn’t.
It may be difficult at times but it’s so worth it. Make a commitment and stay true. Just keep on trying every day.
You will get there, I promise. Blessings have been showered upon me throughout the years and I’m so humbled!
This story was the personal experience and advice from Robyn about how she helped her children during her divorce & remarriage. Have you gone through something similar? Post your advice below!