Sex is Not What I Expected: Living with Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome, Painful Sex and Marriage
by Anonymous
Do you suffer pain with sex? If you are experiencing painful sex and marriage, you may be suffering with Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome.
If you are fearful of painful sex ruining marriage, rest assured that vulvar vestibuilitis syndrome doesn’t mean the end of intimacy.
Painful Sex and Marriage: Painful First-Time Sex
Before getting married, I was a virgin. The first time with my husband, I expected it to hurt.
That’s what everyone said. I prepared and did everything I could to make our first time a good experience, but was EXCRUCIATINGLY painful.
I talked with my friends — they said it hurt their first times, but after having sex once or twice things were fine.
Months passed, and it was still very painful for me.
To describe it, was as if my flesh inside me was very burnt, and during intercourse, someone was rubbing against burnt skin.
I would cry every single time. My husband felt horrible — to this day, I think he still feel partly guilty.
Was this normal? Was I just not doing this right? How much more lube could I possibly use?
Getting Diagnosed with Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome
Finally, I decided to go to an OBGYN. The second they saw me, they knew something was wrong, but they couldn’t tell me what was wrong.
I am not lying when I tell you I would go weekly to the OBGYN. Each week, I would get another medicine that wouldn’t work.
I grew more and more frustrated each week. After 9 months of going to my doctor, they finally sent me to their top physician.
I had to wait three months to see her, but I am so glad I did. Within minutes of me meeting, she diagnosed me with an extreme case of Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome.
Here is the definition from WebMD: “Women with Vulvar Vestibulitis have chronic vulvar pain with no known cause.
It is chronic pain or discomfort around the opening of your vagina, described, often described as burning, throbbing, and itching. Until recently, doctors didn’t recognize this as a real pain syndrome.
Even today, many women do not receive a diagnosis. They may also remain isolated by a condition that is not easy to discuss.
Researchers are working hard to uncover the causes of vulvodynia and to find better ways to treat it.”
Sex is Not What I Expected: Moving Forward with Your Partner
If you have these symptoms, I invite you to talk to an OBGYN. I am not 100% healed still, and I may never be.
BUT I am taking the correct medicines (including numbing cream!) that helps me manage the pain. Just know you are not alone and there are ways to make things better.
Are you thinking “Sex is not what I expected?” Does painful sex and marriage take a toll on your relationship?
Between different forms of intimacy, numbing cream, and vulvar vestibulitis syndrome treatment, you and your partner can move forward with a successful sex life together.
