How to Have a Successful Marriage
by Amanda
Every wife (and husband) wants to know how to have a successful marriage. Amanda shares the secrets to her successful marriage: 1. Not sharing marital problems with family or friends, and 2. Avoiding nagging whenever possible. With the following story and videos, you can also learn how to stop nagging AND get what you want.
My husband Chris and I have been married for almost twelve years and we’re very grateful to have a happy relationship. When I consider what has been most helpful or important to keeping our relationship meaningful, I think there are two things we’ve done right.
To Share or Not to Share? Sharing Marital Problems with Family and Friends
The first thing we found effective for us was not sharing marital problems with family. At the very beginning of our marriage, we promised each other that we wouldn’t take our grievances with each to anyone else except our ecclesiastical leader or a therapist.
We don’t believe in venting or bashing our spouse- especially to other family members. It shows disrespect and creates mistrust, and I am very grateful that other people do not know about any of the stupid things I’ve done or said when I’ve been angry with Chris, and he’s very grateful that I’ve only spoken kindly about him to my friends and family members.
Now, we’re not perfect, but overall, it’s been a huge blessing.
How to Stop Nagging and Get What You Want
The other thing that I personally try to do is not to nag my husband. I bought a book called The Power of a Praying Wife, and that helped me to understand that nagging just causes anger. It makes him feel like he’s never doing anything right of being good enough.
But there’s a reason why we nag. Fortunately, the book talks about how to stop nagging and get what you want at the same time. I try to pray for what I want instead of nagging him about it, and it helps me to feel closer to both him and God. I’m also able to find ways to ask him for help kindly without nagging, and because I don’t frequently make him feel badly with nagging, he is more likely to give me a hand whenever he can.
Chris is literally my favorite person, and because of this, I try to honor and respect him all the ways I can and in turn he does the same for me.
Not sharing marital problems with family may help your partner feel more secure in your marriage. Perhaps you can both agree when it is and is not appropriate to share your disagreements with others.
Check out the videos below to learn more about how to stop nagging and get what you want.
A huge thank you to Amanda for sharing these boundaries that work for her and her husband. Every couple is different — what are your ideas for how to have a successful marriage? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.