How to Strengthen Your Marriage in 2020

No one knows better than you that relationships require loving care. Give yourself (and your spouse) a pat on the back for working hard on your marriage since the beginning. If you want a little more spark, a little more connection, or a little more love in your marriage this year, here are a few ideas.

Remember what you love about your spouse.

One of the best things you can do to revive your marriage is remember why you chose this person in the first place. You might:

Create a gratitude-style journal. Each night before the lights go out, scribble down three things that make you grateful for your spouse. One evening you may write “his good looks, our shared love of ice cream, and his excellent work benefits,” and the next you might add “how he offered to put the kids to bed, that he told me I was beautiful, and that we both want one more baby.” There are no rules!

Institute a sharing time. Do you and your spouse already have a few minutes you spend together each day? Take an extra moment to tell each other one thing you appreciate about one another each day. We can sometimes forget to be vulnerable in our marriages when we become so comfortable in our routines. This practice is particularly beneficial to people whose love language is “words of affirmation.”

Relive a favorite date. Make it a point to do everything similarly to how you did it the first time. Complete that same waterfall hike and kiss in the same spot. Go back to that restaurant where you got engaged and then re-watch that movie you both hated. Get sitters for kids and pets and eliminate phones and other distractions.

Work on a project together.

Do something hands-on together. Doing a project together is one of the best ways to build quality time into your schedule. Here are a few ideas, or you and your spouse can come up with your own!

Couple’s journal: It’s easy to slide a couple minutes of couple’s journal time into reading/study/phone scrolling time. The journal below features thought-provoking questions that will bring you and your spouse closer and reignite the spark in your relationship.

Build something: Maybe your husband won’t go for helping you with a couple’s journal. That’s ok. Make a goal to complete a tangible project together before the end of 2020, and consider doing something he would really like. Could you paint a dresser together? Work on an old car? Edit a family video?

Improve life together: As an extension of the “build something” project, select something that will make both of your lives better. That might be replacing the kitchen counters or painting some artwork for the house together. Or maybe you want to embark on a saving adventure together, collecting money from doing odd jobs or completing surveys side-by-side. Then you can take your earnings and spend it on something you both want (like a new video game, a visit to a fancy restaurant, or a new streaming service.)

Plan a journey.

An alternative to making something with your hands is going on an adventure together. Getting out will give you two time to talk and see one other out of the exhausting daily grind.

Here are just a few ideas.

Schedule a weekly hike. 7 AM every Saturday morning, you could take turns driving and surprising one another with a new trail. Hiking is a great way to be active together while also having great conversation.

Go on a vacation! Don’t get trapped at home because you’re saving for something that’s twenty years down the road. The trip doesn’t have to be fancy if your budget doesn’t allow it. Stay one or two nights at a hotel in the next city and enjoy room service and the hot tub, or take a road trip to see old family and friends while leaving stress and responsibility behind.

Design a double-weekend date. Picture this: May 23, you’re going kayaking, fishing, and then to the sports bar. On May 30, you’re running a 5K, getting massages, and spending the night at a nice hotel. He designs his dream date the first weekend, and you plan yours for the next.

There are countless ways to set aside more time for one another. We promise that by doing something a little different together, you’ll feel reconnected to your partner. Whatever you choose, put it on the calendar, and don’t you dare skip it!