A Life of Her Own: How to Work On Yourself in Marriage
If you’re wondering how to work on yourself in marriage, we applaud you! It’s easy to focus on how you’d like to change your spouse, but that path will lead to disappointment and contention.
One of the most important steps to a better marriage is becoming happier with yourself and your life. It’s time to look at the way you spend your time and fill it with things you love.
When you are happy with lots of things in your life, you become less dependent on your spouse to create that happiness for you. If you want to know how to work on yourself in marriage, try looking at the way you spend your time and add the following things to your life:
- Spending time with friends and family you love
- Getting back to old hobbies and interests
- Finding joy in your career
- Developing new hobbies and interests
- Setting goals for self-improvement
In our last video (you can find the link at the bottom of this post) we talked about how having your “own thing” can change the dynamic of your marriage.
Your Spouse is Still #1
That being said, never forget to make enough time for your spouse and work hard on your marriage. Sometimes you should sacrifice other interests, people and hobbies to go on a date or do something for your significant other. Marriage is always number one.
Improving your individual quality of life can be extremely helpful to women who find themselves consistently focusing on their spouse in a negative way or constantly wanting more from their spouse.
We are pleased to share the following videos with you. These women share how work, interests, and opportunities have improved their marriages. We hope they give you some ideas about how to work on yourself in marriage and take steps to a better marriage.
From Feeling Empty to Fulfilled in Marriage
Morgan shares how she struggled when she and Cameron moved to Colorado and he worked while she stayed home. She shares how she overcame this empty feeling by pursuing interests and education.
Check out Morgan’s growing YouTube makeup channel. She has some awesome videos like 4 Hat Hairstyles, 4 Ways to Save on Makeup, and Wavy Mermaid Hair Tutorial. Don’t forget to like and subscribe.
Taking a Chance on Doing Something for Herself
Liberty’s husband had some doubts when Liberty told him she was going to start with Usborne Books & More. Turns out she was taking the right steps to a better marriage and family life by becoming the happiest version of herself.
Let me just say, these books are absolutely incredible. They have puzzle books, lift-the-flap math books, look-and-find books, and more.
My son has done amazing with 1,001 Pirate Things to Spot. It keeps him busy when I put the kids to bed early after a long day. My 2-year-old daughter loves putting the band-aids on the animals in All Better. I recently ordered six or seven books and I am thrilled I have them while I am quarantined at home with three young kids right now.
The gig sounds amazing, too. Anything you can do from home with young kids as much or as little as you want is hard to find. Check out her Facebook page and message her to learn more.
Separating Individual Work and Special Spouse and Family Time
Taylor talks about separating her family time and her work time has enhanced her appreciation for her family. Constant togetherness works great for some couples, but having some space works better for others.
Fill Your Time with Things You Love: 5 Ideas to Make a Happier Life
Now you know how to work on yourself in marriage by looking out for your own happiness instead of relying on your spouse to do that for you.
Here are five ideas of new things you can try to become a better you and take steps to a better marriage. Keep in mind we have included some affiliate links.
- Start a group! What are you passionate about? I started a Zumba group with some girls a few years ago. They would come to my house and we would dance to Fitness Marshall videos in my apartment living room. This was something I looked forward to every week and it left me with some fun memories. That’s just one idea — what about hiking, drawing, writing, or watching The Bachelor? What do you love and miss doing with other people? You could even do Zoom or FaceTime meetings.
- Work on a passion project! Think back to when you were a little kid. What were your life goals? Lacy and I both wanted to be published authors. Lacy published The Fibber Monster in 2019 and I published Earth Shifters in 2020. What’s your passion project? It might be crafting, painting furniture, scrapbooking, or starting a YouTube channel. All it takes is setting aside some time each day to work closer towards your goal.
- Get to work! When my first child was born, I spent the first four weeks sitting on the couch, nursing him, and watching endless episodes from old seasons of Survivor. At four weeks, I was sick of feeling like my husband coming home was the only thing I had to look forward to, and I didn’t feel like myself. I went and got a job right away, and was working within days. I loved the social opportunities and the chance to feel like a human while I worked part-time, and it made me appreciate my baby so much more while I was with him.
- Get healthy! A healthier diet could improve your emotional well-being as well as your perception of yourself. I know my husband is big on the Keto diet and I think it’s best to eat close to the Earth. I like to get psyched up to eat healthy by watching a really unnerving Netflix documentary. It totally works. Even though I try to eat healthy, I fail a lot. I’m better in the exercise department. I aim for 20-30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week, and I really enjoy those minutes. The key is to choose workouts that you like. I have my resistance bands, free weights, and ankle weights and I like YouTube channels like MadFit (no equipment), XFit Daily, and Fitness Blender.
Kids at home? If you’re anything like me and have a 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and 9-month old at home, you know how challenging it is to make time for you instead of complaining to your husband. I have designed a “Supermom Schedule” geared towards moms with young children who don’t have much help at home. This schedule allows time to do it all — chores, time with your kids and husband, cooking, cleaning, and pursuing your interests and hobbies too!
When you subscribe to our email list, you’ll be taken to the “Supermom Schedule” right away.
Here’s our latest YouTube video that sparked the idea for this special post. Thanks for reading and working so hard on your marriage!